


Reysma Ficlet Collection

by ShearaGoldwing



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-03 02:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12739035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShearaGoldwing/pseuds/ShearaGoldwing
Summary: A collection of ficlets written for a series of prompts on Tumblr centered around Rey/Phasma. Mostly AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> These were originally written for a friend-who-is-no-longer-a-friend as part of several exchanges we were doing on Tumblr in 2016. As such the prompt numbers and such will remain the same. Each chapter will represent either a separate list or month and I will try to link to each of the original prompt lists at the beginning of each chapter.
> 
> Original Prompt List: http://haveahearttinman.tumblr.com/post/136707556750/the-great-drabble-exchange-2016

**2\. you can only wash a stained shirt so many times before giving into defeat**

Phasma sighed in defeat as she stared down at her once perfect blouse. She’d spent weeks searching for it through store after store. And now there was a giant stain stretching across the back. She’d tried baking soda in the wash, club soda, vinegar, she’d even gone so far as to take it to a professional in a last ditch effort to salvage her favored shirt. All to no avail. The streak remained in place and she knew exactly who to blame.

The scrape of keys in the front lock made her look up as Rey pushed the door open and shut it soundly behind her. The young woman paused when she saw her lover glaring at her.”What?”

“No more making out in the garage.” Phasma stated direly as she brandished the stained cloth.”

“Ever?” Rey pouted

Phasma relented at the pout on her lovers face. “At least not while I’m wearing nice clothes.”

**6\. phonecalls at 3am**

Phasma grunted awake and peered around her room in confusion. Her phone buzzed again and she snatched it off her bedside table and glared at the screen in a 3am daze. Her girlfriends name swam into focus and she swiped to answer.

“Rey? It’s three in the morning what’s wrong?”

“Poe and Finn are celebrating their one year anniversary. Can I come over?”

“Absolutely. Do you want me to come get you?” She was already half out of bed.

“Please? I’ve got BB8 with me to preserve his innocence.”

Phasma pulled a pair of pants on beneath her nightgown and frowned at the phone. “He’s a corgi.”

“They didn’t make it to their bedroom.”

“Ah,” she understood then and hurried to pull her boots on and found her keys. “I’m on my way. I’ll be ther in twenty.”

“‘kay, love you.”

She smiled at the dark hallway and carefully stepped over an unconscious Kylo on her way to the garage. “Love you, too. Be there soon.”

**15\. A reveals a hidden talent when they think B isn’t around**

Rey sighed and leaned her head against the door to her girlfriend’s apartment. They didn’t have plans to meet today but after the day she’d just had she wanted some comfort… and food. Phasma made the best comfort food. With thoughts of tasty treats in mind she opened the door and stepped inside quietly. There was a song playing and the sound of cooking.

Rey dropped her shoes at the door in the rack specifically for them and made her way down the short hall and turned right to enter the kitchen only to freeze in shock.

The lovely voice she’d heard hadn’t been some nameless singer on a radio. Phasma swayed idly in time with the song as the foreign words rang from her lips like chrystal bells.

Rey wasn’t sure how long she stood there staring but the song eventually ended and Phasma turned to fiddle with her phone and saw Rey standing there.

“Oh, how are you? Bad day?” Her smile was as beautiful as her voice.

“You can sing.” Rey stated numbly.

The smile faded with confusion until a look of realization crossed Phasma’s gorgeous features. “Yes, but I don’t normally do so around others. I used to get complaints from the other children.”

“Will you do it more?”

“If you’d like me to.”

“I really, really would.”

**41\. It’s Christmas and you knitted me a cock sock/boob hood**

Rey held up the knitted garment and raised her eyebrow at her lover. “Why?” She asked simply.

“You keep complaining about it being too hot in the summer to wear shirts. There’s your solution.”

Rey glanced back at the bare slip of yarn that had been twisted and knotted around itself and innumerable number of times to create… this.

“It’s… cute.”

“Uhuh, and it covers your breasts so that the immature idiots at the shop won’t be tempted to touch what isn’t their’s.”

Rey stared at the garment for a long moment before looking at her lover in all seriousness. “You ran out of yarn didn’t you.”

“That too.”

**51\. you shot me in the ass! it was an accident i swear!**

Rey watched in horror as the blaster bolt went wide. Very wide. Missing the target entirely and landing a direct hit against the silver armored rear of the last person in the galaxy that Rey ever wanted to anger.

The Captain stumbled a step forward and Rey felt her chances of survival shrinking infinitely. A hand grabbed the blaster from her and she only had a brief memory of black hair and robes before a deep voice was shouting “Run!” over the angered roar behind her.

The defunct base was all open ground with zero places to hide until she made it to the main building. She wished the war hadn’t ended so quickly in that moment so that all the old x-wings could all be on the ground providing hiding places in Rey’s flight.

The sound of heavily booted feet behind her was getting louder, closer. In desperation Rey started screaming, “I’M SORRY!”

“YOU SHOT ME IN THE ASS!”

“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!”

“THAT’S NO EXCUSE!”

She didn’t make it to the building before Phasma caught her.

**75\. I’m really hungry but my debit card was declined. You stepped in and paid for my meal. And dear god, you’re hot.**

“I’m sorry, miss, it’s been declined.” Rey looked up in horror as the cashier handed her back her card.

“That can’t be right.”

“Do you want me to try again?”

“Yes, now.” She glanced down at the protein bar and milk she needed before her eyes flicked to the door then back to the cashier who ran her card again. She could tell before he said anything that it hadn’t gone through. She was broke.

“Here, use mine.” A smooth melodic powerful voice spoke up behind her and Rey watched a long muscular arm reach past her to hand the cashier a card.

The register beeped and a receipt printed out but Rey didn’t reach for her things. She couldn’t look away from the beauty that stood before her and almost a foot taller. The goddess turned her liquid eyes to Rey’s plain brown one’s and smiled gently while pressing the items into her lax hands.

“Hopefully you’ll have enough next time.”

“If I don’t will you save me again?”

**103\. Character A and B are trapped in an elevator somewhere. There’s one powerbar and a stick of gum to share between them. The only way for one to get good cell reception is for one to stand on the other’s shoulders.**

Rey felt the pit of her stomach drop as the lights in the elevator dimmed and the sensation of moving down stopped with a shudder. “That’s not good.” She glanced at her companion. A tall goddess of a woman in a smart business suit. The woman glanced at the stalled numbers and pressed the emergency call button once. A shrill ring sounded but nothing happened.

After a moment Rey stuck her hand in her pocket and pulled out her phone. No signal. “Uh oh.” She stated simply.

It took five minutes for Rey to give up prying at the doors and sprawling on the floor in defeat as her stomach growled painfully. It’d been a couple days since her last solid meal. She’d been there for a minute when something hit her stomach. She jumped and looked down to see a power bar sitting on her stomach.

“Eat that.” She looked up at the goddess. “If help isn’t here in thirty minutes we’ll figure something out.”

Figuring something out involved Rey sitting on the goddess’s shoulders in order to get reception and calling the front desk of the office building. The red head and goth that pulled them out were more than amused as the goddess, Phasma as Rey had learned, carried her bridal style out of the broken elevator.

**105\. What do you mean you haven’t seen [obscure tv show]? We must marathon it now!**

Phasma had not been planning on spending her first weekend home in six months ensconced on the couch with her girlfriend surrounded by snacks and soda watching a television show that Rey, apparently, swore by. To be fair she did feel a little guilty when she’d realized that she had never even heard of her darling Rey’s all time favorite show. But while the actors played their parts well she couldn’t help but feel… lost. As the large one, whose name she’d forgotten, proudly proclaimed his love of a hat received through the mail Rey snorted and giggled and Phasma found herself caring a little less about how she really couldn’t get into the show.

**111\. Person A and B are playing video games. A is very serious, B is button mashing. Or conversely, A is taking on missions while B plays tourist.**

“Okay, so first we need to get to the base and resupply because you’re almost out of ammo then we can go kiiiiiii– Phas.”

“Hm?”

“Where are you?”

“I’m not sure, I saw something glittering over here and thought I’d take a look.”

“Phas, you’re at five percent health and you have no ammo, you should not be wanderin- IT’S A TRAP! RUN!”

“OH! SHI– I died.”

“I see that.”

“Look, I warned you when you invited me to play with you that there was a reason Kylo and Hux don’t ask anymore.”

“… I see that.”

**132\. Just watched you take a nasty spill on a patch of ice. Why aren’t you getting back up?**

The winter had hit hard this year. Everything had frozen solid and patches of ice littered the sidewalks like invisible patches of death. Rey was on her way back from the store with Finn and Poe when she saw the woman. She was tall and powerful and looked like she could bench press a pair of Rey’s and a Poe without breaking a sweat. She didn’t realize she’d stopped to stare until she heard the giggling. She glared at the boys and turned her head back to the short haired blonde in time to see her long, long legs fly out from under her.

The boxes that the woman had been carrying hit the ground and split, spilling various canned goods onto the sidewalk as the woman flung her arms out in front of her slightly too late.

Rey was across the street and hovering over the unmoving woman in a heartbeat.

“Are you okay?” She asked, panicked. The woman didn’t respond and didn’t move. Rey crouched down and carefully rolled the amazon onto her back.

The blood leaking from a gash on the woman’s forehead only made the glower look all the more threatening. Rey backed off as the blonde sat herself up sharply and turned to glare at her only for the sharp features to soften after a moment.

“Yes, I’m alright,” Rey almost fainted at the beautiful, slightly accented voice the woman had, “thank you for your concern. I’m quite fine.”

“You’re bleeding.” The woman gave her a patiently unamused look before standing. She towered over Rey easily.

“I’ll be fine. Thank you…?”

“Rey!” She jumped to her feet and stuck out her hand just as Poe and Finn caught up to them. “And you are?”

A small smirk finally made it’s way through the blood. “Phasma.”

**Bonus 5**

**1\. Take off your helmet**

The swamp made it difficult for large groups to move in cohesion. Both armies realized this separately but almost simultaneously adopted the same strategy. Small units kept in contact with each other through comm link.

Phasma had already engaged more rebels than she had expected and lost the other members of her unit. She was doubling back to find one of the others she knew was nearby when the familiar sound of a lightsaber turning on made her stop and turn sharply, blaster rising only to stop as a blue glowing blade was held near her neck. She was starting to regret being the sort to lead from the front.

The scavenger girl that Ren had been so obsessed with came into full view, holding the lightsaber steady in both hands. “Remove your helmet.”

“Why?”

The lightsaber lifted slightly, coming worryingly close to the edge of her armored neck. “Because I said to.”

“You’re starting to sound like Kylo Ren.” She felt mild pleasure at the wince on the girl’s face but the unwavering blade made her release her blaster and lift her arms slowly to the clasps on her helmet.

The seal gave way with a slight hiss and she lifted her silver helmet from her head. She knew her hair was plastered flat from sweat but from the look on the girl’s face it didn’t seem to matter.

She looked like she was seeing a tree for the first time.

**2\. We’re stuck at a mutual’s party. Wanna makeout?**

For all of the things that Finn did extremely well throwing parties was not one of them. Rey stared at the small crowd on the dancefloor that had once been her and Poe and Finn’s living room and wondered idly if she could run away until this nonsense was over. Finn had been so excited about having a small get together with just a few people he knew so that all the little groups of people he knew could get to know each other.

The two men and tall woman they’d brought with them had brought a literal childs wagon filled with bottles of alcohol with them. Things had fallen apart rather quickly after that.

She watched as Poe tried, and failed, to get the ginger to let go of his red cup long enough to steal a kiss while the emo that the ginger had come with made angry faces at Poe. Finn was somewhere. She suspected the balcony. Perhaps with one of the many that had been eyeing him all night. A shadow settled beside her. The blonde woman that had caught her eye when she’d arrived leaned against the wall next to her and smirked.

“Some party, huh?”

“No.”

“Wanna make out?”

“Absolutely.”

**3\. Gym bros**

Rey grunted as she crouched in front of the bar. Phasma stood in front and to the right of her and talked her through her form again, insisting, time and time again, that she keep her spine straight as possible and only use her legs. Rey nodded at her girlfriends serious tone before grabbing the bar confidently. She used every muscle in her legs, kept her back frozen, arms stiff and lifted the barbell until she was standing straight. The next bit had taken a ridiculous amount of practice but with a grunt she bent her knees into a sharp crouch, bringing her arms up over her head and pushed herself upright again. She held it for a split second before stepping back and letting it drop forward onto the blocks.

Her legs burned and all her joints felt a little loose but the kiss Phasma gave her made it all worth it.

**4\. Your droid keeps coming over to me. What’s its problem?**

Phasma was elbow deep in an engine when she heard the curious little ‘beep’. A quick glance down to her feet revealed the small white and orange BB-unit that seemed to be beloved by the entirety of the rebel base. She turned back to the engine that refused to power up.

Something solid knocked into her calf and she glared down at the droid. It did it again. She put her boot to its round body sharply and smirked in silent appreciation at the panicked noises it made until it bought itself back under control.

She worked peacefully for a little while but when she paused to take a swig of water from her canteen she saw the droid sitting there, just out of legs reach, staring at her. She stared back at it for a few seconds before deciding to ignore it so long as it didn’t touch her again.

Several hours and a finally functioning engine later found Phasma walking into the canteen just after the dinner rush, tiny orange and white shadow following her at a distance.

“There you are!” She turned to see the scaveng- REY, she corrected herself, moving towards her. “BB-8, we’ve been looking for you all day! Where have you been?”

“Staring at me. It’s been rather annoying.” Phasma wasn’t sure of the meaning behind the girls look but the blush spoke volumes.

**5\. Unexpected cuddles**

It was meant to be a nice night alone. No roommates, no stress, a glass of wine, a good book. Then Rey had thrown the door open and launched herself head first onto Phasma and refused to move.

She’d tried to roll the smaller woman off. She’d tried pushing. She’d even stood up and walked into the kitchen and fetched the whole bottle of wine with Rey clinging to her like of strange monkey. When she’d asked why Rey had only responded with a simple, “It’s cuddle time.”

She was still drinking the wine. The book was propped on Rey’s back just below her neck. Rey may have wanted cuddles but Phasma would be damned if she wasn’t going to find out what happened to Brienne of Tarth in this book.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt List: http://haveahearttinman.tumblr.com/post/142715660055/aus

**1, “i just committed a crime and i need to use you as a hostage i am so sorry” au**

Rey glared at the guns pointed at her while the overly buff figure that had grabbed her shouted at the cops. “Let me go and the girl lives!” A few of the uniforms shifted warily but the red-head front and center maintained his aim.

“Let the girl go. There’s no future in hostage taking.”

Rey’s feet skimmed the ground as her captor turned to glance over their shoulder. Seeing her opportunity Rey twisted and slammed her boot heel down on her attackers foot with extreme prejudice.

Rey liked to think she was a very patient and understanding person but she drew the line at being thrown over someone’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes. It took a few minutes for her mind to catch up with the reality of what was happening to her. A stranger was carrying her. She was being kidnapped. Once reality asserted itself Rey flailed wildly, trying to buck herself out of the stranger’s grip.

**2\. you were my rival in first grade and damn you’ve gotten really hot since then au**

Rey pulled herself from under the piece of shit camaro she’d been working on as her boss shouted for her. She stepped into the office and froze. Her most hated rival. The bane of her existence. Always better at everything bitch. Stood before her in gorgeous leather pants, high heels, and lipstick the color of freshly shed blood. Rey wanted to scream. She also wanted to rip those ridiculous pants off the amazon and offer her face as a seat.

The rivalry was back in first grade. It had been held long enough.

“Hi, I’m Rey!”

**3\. i was shrunk to 4 inches tall by a witch and now i kinda live in your kitchen without you knowing au**

Phasma listened to make sure Rey and her roommates had left for the day before she ventured from her hiding spot behind the canned soup. She’d gotten almost used to being so small after the misfortune with Ren. She had a little tool kit that she’d made from things scavenged around the apartment that she kept tucked into a tiny foam bag that had once covered a new pair of earbuds. She tied the end of her rope, a piece of string really, it was purple, around the not quite flush screw head and slid down to the floor.

BB, the corgi that Poe had brought home two months ago with no warning, flopped up to her happily as she regained her footing. She held out her hand and the corgi sat obediently. Phasma gave him a good scratch behind the ears before digging out the tiny saddle that had once belonged to Finn’s model horse collection and used a few sturdy pieces of twine to hold it in place before mounting up.

She had been reduced to only a few inches in height but she’d be damned if she was going to walk all the way across the apartment for anything.

**4\. i am actually good at math but the math tutor is really hot so i’m pretending to be dumb au**

Rey stared at the neatly written numbers and tried very very hard not to blush as the beautiful tutor showed her, with excruciating care, how to use the quadratic formula. Again. She’d been too busy staring at the amazons perfectly painted red lips to pay attention the first time. Not that she needed the help. But by the gods did this woman make her head spin.

The tutor, Phasma, sat back in her chair and tapped the page where she’d written out a sample problem. “Alright, let’s see if you can do this. Remember the song.”

Rey blushed again and picked up her pencil to start on the problem. She’d memorized the formula years ago but for some reason Phasma’s silly little song set to ‘row, row, row your boat’ just made her seem so much more endearing.

**5\. two strangers locked inside a grocery store at three am together au**

Phasma stared forlornly out the metal grating preventing her from walking out of this hell hole. She’d come in for a tub of ice cream. That was all. She’d gotten her cotton candy flavored joy and used the self check out and now she was watching sadly as the employee drove away in their car without a backwards glance. She stepped back and let the door close slowly behind her as she stepped back towards the registers along the wall. There had to be spoons somewhere around here. As she searched she texted her roommates and prayed they were awake and not otherwise occupied. Either way she would probably be here for a while.

She found the manager’s office and procured herself a plastic spoon. She spent the next half hour sitting on the register counter eating her ice cream in peace while playing tetris. A sudden light fell over her and she looked up to see a young woman with three buns on the back of her head. “Oh, are you stuck here too?” Phasma asked calmly. The light switched off and the newcomer lowered their cell phone and nodded tiredly. Phasma shifted and offered the newly empty space next to her and a second spoon. “Any idea how to get out?”

“Nope. Texted my roomies but I think they’re asleep.”

“Mine too. Or their fucking. Either way they haven’t answered me back. I’m Phasma by the way.”

“Rey, thanks for sharing.” They shook hands.

By the time Phasma and Rey’s individual roommates arrived they’d made their way through two more tubs of ice cream and had a date set for the weekend.

**6\.  i’m mute and you’re the lead singer of my favorite band who just pulled me onstage to sing with you au**

Rey bounced in excitement as the doors to the club opened and started letting people inside. She loved this band. She’d been waiting all month for them to finally hold a concert close enough to her hometown that she and her best friend Finn could go. Their music was heavy and the lyrics were just unpolished enough to make them seem real.

The club was filling slowly but surely and Rey had to fight to push her way close to the stage. Finn stayed glued to her side as the lights dimmed and the lead singer stepped onstage and was met by thunderous applause. Rey sighed as the spotlight flicked on and the singers platinum blonde hair shone like a star.

Four songs into the band’s set the lights in the rest of the bar came up. “Alright, everyone, I’m looking for someone to help sing this next one!” The singer eyed the teeming crowd carefully before her eyes landed on Rey who was trying her damndest to sink behind Finn. “You! There, with the three buns! Come on up here!” Rey turned red as she was guided onstage by the red haired bassist and presented to the lead singer, Phasma.

Phasma grinned and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Hi! And what’s your name?”

Rey hesitated for a moment before carefully signing ‘R. E. Y.’ She watched as realization dawned on Phasma’s face before an even brighter grin split her features. “Ah, I see. You can hear though, right?” Rey nodded enthusiastically. “Great. Hey audience!” Phasma turned to the teeming crowd and waved her arm for silence. “I want someone recording this! This is going to be the first time any of our songs are going to be translated into ASL and I want a million videos online tonight for any fans who are hard of hearing or deaf.” Suddenly there were dozens of cell phone cameras focused on the stage. Phasma turned back to Rey. “You know ‘From Darkness to Light’?” Rey nodded. “Great. Let’s make you a star.”

**7\. who can sell the most cookies contest au**

Rey glared across the tiny parking lot at the Walgreens. More specifically at the six foot amazon beauty sitting pretty behind a table piled high with boxes. Familiar boxes. Rey glanced down at the cheerful green boxes of cookies spread out on her own table. She was confident in her abilities to sell all the ones she had. But the question had become: how many did the other woman have?

A short man with his tall wife passed her by and walked into the CVS behind her. They didn’t even glance at her display.

Three hours later saw her with only three fewer boxes. Finally she called her friend Poe. “Poe, there’s this hot chick across the lot from me stealing all my business. What do I do?”

“Eat her?”

“I can’t leave my booth.”

“Strip tease?”

“How is that supposed to help?”

“It will attract a particular set of clientele.”

“I’m not taking off my shirt to sell cookies.”

“Well it doesn’t have to come all the way off. Just ruck it up a bit and turn it into a crop top.” She loved Poe sometimes.

After altering her clothes a bit Rey noticed a rise in her sales for an hour or so. When she looked across the lot again she had to call Poe back. “So apparently the chick wears red lace bras.”

**8\. we’re strangers but i absolutely hate your music taste and i feel the need to tell you this on a crowded subway au**

The low base had been slowly driving Rey crazy for the last ten minutes. She glanced up at the woman standing next to her and willed the large black headphone into a pit of fire as they continued to pulse in time with the bassline of whatever the blonde was listening to.

The song changed and Rey had enough. She jabbed the toe of her shoe into the toe of the blonde’s. When she looked up Rey glared and said in the loudest voice she had, “You’re dubstep sucks, turn it down.”

The blonde pulled the headphones down around her neck and the singing strings and proud brass of something classical filled the car. “Pardon?” The blonde had a less than amused look on her face.

**9\.  i’m a fisherman and you’re a mermaid who got tangled in one of my nets au**

The sea was calm today. No big waves, no wind, nothing but blue-green water for miles and miles. Phasma had cast out her net early that morning but so far nothing had found its way into her clutches. She sighed and stretched her back. The rope was heavy and coarse as she hauled. The winch complained and she grinned. So something had gotten stuck after all. She continued hauling until she could see the net properly. A curious pair of human eyes blinked at her. She dropped the rope.

The splash jerked Phasma out of her shock and she double timed hauling the net back up and on deck. The person was tangled along with what looked like a pale yellow fish of some sort. Phasma managed to pull half the netting off when a staff whipped around towards her head. She ducked back. The person, girl actually, now that Phasma could get a proper look, followed on their hands before bracing with her… tail?

Phasma blinked as the yellow tail moved with the girl and with a powerful flex lifted the girl’s torso from the deck so that she could take another swing.

**10\. i purposely get your coffee order wrong just so you’ll talk to me again au**

Rey watched Phasma take the first sip of her drink and waited for the moment of realization. She’d been purposefully getting the tall woman’s attention for months now. But every time, no matter the screw up, Phasma never complained. Never came back to the counter to demand a redo. She was acting completely against the normal employee-messes-up-a-customer’s-order script.There hadn’t even been a complaint filed online about it.

She watched Phasma sit at the tiny table and drink her not-soy milk with not-hazelnut-with-caramel-drizzle and let her head hit the counter in frustration. She heard Poe sigh behind her but ignored him. He’d suggested just talking to her. Rey sucked at talking to people, that’s why she never worked register.

“Hey, loveless bird.” Rey pouted as Poe poked her in the side. “Go get some more scones from the back.”

“They’re all frozen. I’d have to stick them in the oven,” Rey grumped.

Poe snorted and gave her a small push in the direction of the kitchen door. “Best get to it then.”

Thirty minutes of cursing and a new burn later Rey emerged from Hell and stuck the fresh tray of raspberry scones in the pastry case and rolled her eyes as Poe immediately sold three. Poe could get a diabetic to buy fudge with nothing more than a smile.

She stuck the tray on the counter and noticed a cup waiting in the pick-up window. She turned it to read the name.

Phasma. In her handwriting. Rey frowned and turned it a little more. There was a phone number written  on the other side of the cup and the words ‘Call me’.

**11\. we’re both sick and we both grabbed for the last can of soup at the store au**

Phasma sniffled and buried her face deeper in the soft knit of her scarf as she tottered towards the soup aisle. Of course Kylo would come home with a cold. Of course he wouldn’t tell either of them. Of course he’d act innocent about the sudden fevers and coughing Phasma and Hux started having. And, Of Course, he’d already eaten all of the chicken soup.

The store was depressing. Cracked linoleum. Flickering lights. Donuts on display that looked suspiciously like plaster they were so old. There was exactly one, three foot long, shelf devoted to soup. They were all potato. Phasma grumbled and started picking through each can carefully. Nothing.

She turned away in defeat and girded herself for the walk to the proper grocery store two blocks down when she saw it. A single can of chicken noodle set on the bottom shelf of a unit at the end of the aisle. Phasma tottered towards it as quickly as her liquid legs and veering vision would allow. She seized the can victoriously.

Another set of fingers wrapped around hers. She looked up to see a brunette with red rimmed eyes and chapped lips glaring at her. Phasma’s lips curled back in a low snarl.

**12\. tree climbing contest but we both got stuck up on the top branches and now we have to wait for the fire department au**

Rey watched the fire truck pull into the parking lot of the park and shifted on her branch. “This is all your fault, Phasma.”

“Excuse you?” Phasma glared at her from a similarly precarious perch in the neighboring tree. “I’m not the one who decided to turn this into a challenge.”

“You said, and I quote, ‘let’s climb a tree’. The fuck were you expecting me to do?”

“Not be an idiot.”

“Big words from someone who’s in the exact same situation!” A whistle from below made them both look down. Rey closed her eyes tightly and groaned deeply. “Of course it’d be him.”

“We’re never living this down.”

“I blame you for calling him.”

“I called 9-1-1. He just happened to be the one that showed up.” Phasma looked down again and sighed. “He’s laughing. And taking pictures.”

“Fucking asshole.” Rey leaned over just enough to lay eyes on her cousin. “BEN I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS SHARP AND POINTY THAT IF YOU DON’T DELETE THOSE PICTURES RIGHT NOW–.” Her phone buzzed and pictures of her and Phasma in their trees appeared on her screen. Along with a laundry list of copied numbers. “I SAID DELETE THEM YOU SHIT NOT SEND THEM TO EVERYONE!”

**13\. you’re singing my favorite song but you’re singing it wrong au**

Phasma clenched her fists tightly as the little brunette with her hair pulled into three stupid buns continued to sing the Firefly theme song wrong. It was not supposed to be a happy song. It was not meant to be danced to. Her eye started twitching.

**14\. you’re the crazy cat person next door and your cats keep on wandering into my yard au**

There was an orange one today. Yesterday there’d been a grey tabby. The day before that there’d been a mound of fluffy white that had sat atop the air conditioner and hissed at anyone that dared approach it’s majesty. Phasma sighed and pulled down another can of tuna. It had the same blue collar all the others had. She stepped outside and opened the can, waiting for the cat to wander over.

Five minutes later Phasma’s arms were full of happily purring kitty as she walked down the block to return it to it’s keeper, Rey.

**15\. i’m a ghost and you’re a ghost hunter au**

Phasma watched the trio from her favorite spot atop the grand piano in the sitting room. She wasn’t actually touching it, just floating a few inches above it, really. She liked this vantage point. Clear sight lines to all exits with no cover that she couldn’t see over by simply lifting her head with her hand. Sometimes she appreciated that she’d been beheaded instead of strangled. Although logistics for when she wanted to do shit with her hands were a little tough.

The two men were setting up some equipment that beeped a lot with a big sideways bowl with a rod in the middle. She kept an idle eye on them while giving most of her focus to the girl. And she really was just a girl. Couldn’t be old enough to buy a beer in a tavern by the looks of her. She’d draped a long shawl around her shoulders and was going through the process of tying what looked suspiciously like a repurposed afghan around her waist to hide the rather fetching leggings she was wearing.

Phasma had seen this lots ilk before. Her final resting place was constantly being ‘investigated’ by paranormal enthusiasts. She continued watching them for a few minutes in peace before Ben stuck his head through the ceiling. “Phasma, be a dear and get them out. That little one’s one of my bloodline, I’d prefer Hux not get his hands on her.” Phasma nodded and watched Ben disappear back through the ceiling. She didn’t like when he did that. Made it too easy to see straight through the hole that went from what was left of his neck straight through and out his back. Not a pretty sight. Then again, being impaled upside down probably hadn’t been pretty either. And Ben’s murderers hadn’t even been considerate enough to leave him clothed when they did.

It had all been Hux’s fault. If he hadn’t encouraged those rumors of Satanism and sodomy that ridiculous preacher wouldn’t have gained any traction. Ah, well, it was a little too late to place blame at this point. Phasma settled her feet on the floor and settled her head atop her shoulders, using the leather belt that her hands had once been bound with to hold it in place. So long as she didn’t bend over she’d be fine.

The trio were just getting their camera’s set up when Phasma appeared behind the girl. The boys shrieked and clambered over themselves; trying desperately to get away while maintaining the perfect angle. The girl turned and gazed up at her without a hint of fear.

“Wow, you’re tall.” Phasma liked her already.

**16\. you’re my ~~siblings~~  cousins best friend and i absolutely hate you but pretend to be my boy/girlfriend to piss off my family au**

Rey waited patiently as Phasma read through the contract carefully. They’d met at the coffeeshop Kylo worked at and Rey was plying her with free drinks. FInally Phasma set the small stack of paper down and interlaced her fingers.

“So let me get this straight. You want me to act as your significant other leading up to, during, and for a small period of time after you and Kylo’s family reunion in order to make your family treat you with more respect.” Rey nodded. “An interesting prospect. Only one question.”

“What?”

“While in attendance of the reunion you mentioned that it would consist of at least three of mandatory attendance.”

“Unfortunately. Once we’re all at the lake house Han takes everyone’s spark plug. The only way out is to walk.”

Phasma glanced pointedly at Kylo. “Ah. Family likeness.” She refocused on Rey. “Due to the nature of the reunion and the length of the stay I’m assuming we’ll be sharing a room?”

“Theoretically. After what Kylo and Hux did their first time at the reunion I don’t think they’ll try enforcing the ‘everyone sleeps in the living room’ rule ever again. Although Han may have added more rooms to the house by the time we get there so we might be put in separate ones.”

“Which makes this an important question. Will we need to fake sex while we’re there?”

Rey thought for a long moment before shrugging. “I don’t see why we can’t just have actual sex.”

**17\. you look exactly like the main character in my novel au**

Rey typed feverishly as Poe watched over her shoulder. They’d agreed to the challenge of writing one thousand words in thirty minutes. They were taking turns in order to keep the other honest. It had quickly devolved into creating their perfect lovers. “Six foot plus. Blonde. Ripped. You do realize there are quite possibly no women who actually look like that, yes?”

Rey glared at him. “This is my novel. Don’t like? Don’t read. Besides do you honestly think your dream guy exists?”

“What? Tall. Dark haired. Hung. Stacked. Fuckable lips… Okay, fair point. I’ll settle for tall and hung.” Rey snorted and turned back to her laptop screen.

The bell above the shop door jingled and Poe’s hand clamped down on her shoulder. “Oh, good god! The lord has smiled upon us this day!”

Rey peeked over the top of her screen and nearly choked. Tall, blonde, and ripped was standing next to tall, stacked, and fuckable lips.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Original Prompt List: http://haveahearttinman.tumblr.com/post/136707556750/the-great-drabble-exchange-2016

**5\. Bloodstained**

The swamp had proven to be hell for both armies. The Tie fighters and X-wings couldn’t fly too low without getting tangled in the thick vines leaving the ground forces without air support. There had been an attempt to bomb the foliage in order to clear a path but apparently the deep water housed a creature with long prehensile appendages large enough to drag a troop carrier into the murk below.

Phasma picked her way through the twisted roots of the trees that grew thick in the dark water and treacherous mud. She’d learned quickly that just because something looked like a root didn’t mean it was. TS-3398 and SR-1992 had disappeared into the mud as thin root-like tendrils had wrapped around them and dragged them under. She cursed Ren as she moved. If it weren’t for his insistence that the crumbling bit of stone in the middle of this forsaken hellhole was to remain unharmed she’d have had this horrible planet destroyed from orbit. She could do that. Hux liked her more than Ren.

The only thing she was slightly thankful for was the thick coating of blood and mud that now obscured the shine of her armor. It would be extremely difficult for the Rebels to see her like this. Even if it made it difficult for her own troopers to see her as well she considered it a plus.

Heavy footsteps off to her left gave the Captain pause. Rebels? Or Stormtroopers? She sidled forward as quietly as she could and peered around the knotted branch of a tree. She jerked back around as she spotted the young woman with three buns and a staff picking a path through the undergrowth. FN-2187 followed behind her obediently. Phasma didn’t consider herself a vindictive person. But FN-2187 had held a blaster to her head and thrown her into the garbage. She wanted his head on a pike.

She waited a moment for them to get ahead of her before she primed her blaster and stepped from around the tree. “FN-2187. Scavenger. Put your hands up.”

**22\. you’re really scary but thank you for saving me**

Rey held perfectly still as the last few rocks from the collapsed ledge fell past her and down into the gorge. Her staff was long gone, lost to the distance below. The hand clutching her ankle shifted and Rey had to close her eyes to keep from panicking. She felt herself being lifted slowly.

Rough rock scraped her shin, then her knee. Rey opened her eyes as another hand grabbed her belt and pulled her onto a solid outcropping of rock. She lay still for a few minutes before sitting up carefully. The leg that she had been lifted by was screaming in pain.

Captain Phasma of the First Order was watching her silently. At least Rey thought they were. It was hard to tell with the helmet. “Thank you.” The helmet shifted towards her slightly. “You saved me. Thank you.”

There was a long moment where Rey was afraid that there would be no answer. “It would have been an unfortunate loss if you had died.” Rey blinked in confusion.

“What?”

**47\. Teatime**

Phasma watched in annoyance as her girlfriend continued to chatter away happily with Finn and Poe. They’d been in this kitschy little tea shop for nearing two hours now. It was supposed to be a ‘your friends meet my friends’ sort of deal. She glanced to her right where Hux had pulled out his laptop not even five minutes into this ordeal and refused to speak to anyone. She was used to this from him. But normally he at least clued her in to whatever it was he was browsing through on Tumblr. Today, nothing.

A hand appeared in her periphery. She was about to break the person’s wrist when she recognized the chipped black nail polish that Ren always wore. She glanced at him curiously. He looked her in the eye and nodded sagely and his hand tipped and a brown liquid filled her empty teacup. Once the cup was full Ren withdrew his hand. Phasma lifted the cup to her lips and took a sip. Brandy.

Thirty minutes and three cups of ‘tea’ later and Phasma was chatting away just as animatedly as Rey.

**50\. Notes**

Rey liked to keep track of things. She had dozens of little notebooks filled with little details about how much money she had, how much people owed her, who liked what, where important things were kept. Dozens of them.

There was one set of notes she never wrote down though. Where Phasma liked to be kissed. How hard to pinch to make her giggle or moan as needed. Which clothes got the best reactions. Which pair of heels made Phasma bite her lip in restraint. She'd never had to write these down.

**53\. we’ve only ever known each other in a professional sense but you’re on vacation and your part of the presentation accidentally got deleted and wow you look really good in casual wear.**

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck,” Rey cursed as she made her way up the staircase to Phasma’s apartment. This was supposed to go off without a hitch. They were supposed to be ready before the conference but thanks to mishaps with soda and poor decision making on the part of their coworkers they weren’t.

The staircase let her out on the fifth floor and Rey took a deep breath and straightened her blouse. She’d never seen Phasma outside of the office. Perfectly parted platinum hair and gorgeously tailored three-piece suits had been the only outfits Rey had ever seen the beautiful woman wear. Even to formal events. Rey’d had to call in a massive favor with Kylo in order to get Phasma’s home address.

Apartment 57. Rey swallowed and straightened her shoulders before knocking against the steel door smartly. A thud from inside, then footsteps. Rey held her breath as the doorknob rattled.

The door swung in and Rey swore she saw the glory of all that was good in the world. Phasma stood before her in nothing more than a sports bra and a pair of shorts that barely reached mid-thigh. “Uh.”

“Rey,” Phasma’s voice was as cool and collected as it was in the office, “something wrong? I’m on vacation.”

“Uh.” Rey felt dizzy. She only had a split second to regret holding her breath for so long before her vision darkened.

**58\. What do you mean you don’t know how to dance?**

Rey frowned at Phasma’s shock. “I didn’t exactly grow up in an environment conducive to expressing one’s self. So no, I never learned to dance.”

Phasma sat back in her chair and pressed a hand to her chest dramatically. “This is a travesty! You’ve got the best legs and ass for miles around and you haven’t a clue how to use them!”

Rey squinted at her girlfriend. “I’m fairly sure you weren’t thinking that this morning.”

“Quiet,” Phasma waved away Rey’s comment, “this must be corrected. At the very least you must be taught to waltz. And tango.” She fell into thought for a moment before smacking the table smartly. “I’m calling Hux, he taught Ren and I, he can teach you.” She stood sharply and pulled her phone from her pocket while marching towards their balcony.

Rey scrambled after her in a panic.

**70\. do I even want to know what that stain is?**

Phasma stood in the center of Rey’s apartment and eyed the peeling wallpaper and shiny carpet with disdain. “And you’ve lived here how long?”

Rey’s head popped up from behind the TV where she was disconnecting her gaming consoles. “Look, I know it looks rough but most of the worst of it existed before Poe, Finn, and I moved in.”

Phasma hummed in disbelief as her eyes settled on a disturbingly shaped stain on the falling apart sofa. She pursed her lips and crossed her arms as she let her eyes trail up to glare accusingly at the two men whose asses greatly resembled said stain.

**77\. I live in the apartment next door and the walls are paper thin. I heard you getting off last night.**

Rey jerked awake. She blinked at the darkness of her room for a moment before reaching over and flailing at the crate set up as her bedside table. Her hand eventually found her clock and she glared at the bright green numbers informing her that it was just past two in the morning. She stuck it back on the crate face down and rubbed her eyes.

A low moan made her sit up in surprise. She sat still for a moment until another moan came through the thin wall behind her. She stared at the yellowing wallpaper in shock and more and more moans and groans and sighs came through the thin material.

Rey knew someone had moved in next door last week but this was… unexpected. The low feminine voice continued on for a long while until quieting. Rey heard the creak of mattress springs and footsteps fading away. The groan of pipes. It took a few minutes before Rey was able to lay back down. She didn’t fall back asleep.

The next morning Rey was getting her running shoes laced up when the door to the neighboring apartment opened and a gorgeous woman with platinum blonde hair stepped out in heels, pant suit, and blouse with perfectly applied red lipstick.

That night Rey sat up in bed awaiting the noises eagerly.

**107\. There’s a sign in front of your house that says “Wife/Husband needed: inquire within.”**

Rey let her motorcycle coast to a stop as the words on the sign two houses back finally sank in. She sat there arguing with herself for a few minutes before turning her bike around and pulling into the driveway. She pulled her helmet off and knocked on the front door. When a tall blonde opened it she looked directly up into their face. “Okay, seriously? What?”

**110\. It’s the middle of summer and we’re stuck in this building and the AC breaks so we’re all sweating and you’re the only one that hasn’t given in and started stripping. What gives?**

Phasma leaned her head back and closed her eyes as Hux continued talking. She liked the skinny red head, he was good people, but good lord he could prattle on for hours if allowed. Normally Ren would interrupt him by this point but the pissbaby apparently had a weakness for heat akin to that of a cats and had fallen asleep in a patch of sunlight.

She let her eyes roam over the rest of the board members who were all in various states of undress. Mitaka was down to his undershirt and looked to be contemplating the necessity of pants. Unamo had piled her long hair atop her head, ditched her jacket, and was quietly fanning herself with the manila folder she’d brought with her. Thannison had given up all pretenses of listening and was sprawled back in his chair, praying for a swift end.

The only one who didn’t seem to be suffering was the little intern that Ren had dragged into the office one day and presented to Phasma with a flourish. She still had both pants and jacket on and her hair remained in the three buns she always wore. She glanced up as Phasma continued to watch her.

They exchanged silent looks before the intern glanced at Hux who was now berating a still sleeping Ren. She looked back at Phasma and slipped a hand between two buttons of her blouse and pulled a packet from within and tossed it over.

Blessed cold emanating from the little packet made Phasma groan happily as she immediately shoved it down between her breasts.

**+5**

**1\. Costume party**

“I feel ridiculous,” Rey muttered as she tugged at the gold sequined shorts Phasma had helped her slip into.

“That’s the point of a costume. Embrace the ridiculous. Become one with it. And be happy we changed Ren’s mind.” Phasma walked out of the bathroom in a bloodstained maids outfit. She had a mesh cap over her head and a mass of red curls in her hand.

“Why? What was he planning to do?”

“You remember that show with the cannibal and the dude obsessed with dogs?”

“Yeah?”

“In the second episode with the corpses with wings where they had to fill the ass cracks with extra blood to make it acceptable for audiences. He wanted to be one of those. Exposed ribs and bare-assed.”

“Yeah, fishnets and leather are a far better idea.”

**2\. Childhood friends**

Rey bounced up and down as she waited for the airplane to let the passengers off. Phas was coming back. She hadn’t seen her best friend since childhood and now she was here! Separated by only a few dozen yards.

She whined as a new batch of passengers began to disembark. Poe set a calming hand on her shoulder. “Calm down. Border patrol are tight asses. They’re probably double checking everyone.”

“But what if she missed her flight? I can’t exactly double check while we’re here.”

“It’s a nine hour flight. I’m sure if she’d missed it she’d have let you know before we left the house.” Rey whined again but her bouncing settled a little.

Time passed as more and more people disembarked and stretched. There was a brief moment of consternation between a large rotund man and security that blocked the exit for a few minutes until a tall figure appeared behind him. The argument dissolved quickly and a tall woman appeared from the shadows of the exit. Rey squealed with excitement and ran towards her greatest friend.

She was enveloped in strong arms and lifted from the ground as Phasma spun them both around in joy. Once the initial flush of joy passed and Rey was set back down they both took a step back and examined each other carefully.

Rey spoke first. “You ended up a lot taller than your pictures make you seem.”

“I know. The heels help.”

**3\. Coffee shop**

Rey rested her forehead against the counter and sighed. She’d been counting down the seconds until closing. Five minutes. It had only been five minutes left when the customer had walked in. They’d poured over the menu with the care and self-importance of the elderly before ordering a simple black coffee. Then, instead of leaving, as was proper at this hour. They’d decided to sit at one of the table and pull out a book.

It was a half hour after closing time and Rey had given up. Even her manager, Hux, had stepped out of the back to frown at the old woman before disappearing to the back once more. Kylo had stepped out a few seconds later and had taken up a looming position just behind the pastry case. Rey made an unhappy noise in the back of her throat that was answered with a low growl from Kylo.

The bell above the door jingled and Rey lifted her head just enough to memorize the face of her first victim. She stood up straight as she saw a beautiful, tall woman with platinum hair and blood red lipstick step inside. She wore a set of purple scrubs and white sneakers that did nothing to hide the obvious musculature beneath the thin fabric.

Hux walked out from the back and nodded at the newcomer. “Phasma,” he stated plainly, “I believe that one,” he nodded at the old woman who remained oblivious, “is one of yours.”

Phasma nodded with a low sigh and stepped over to the elder and knelt down. Rey turned to look at Hux imploringly. The evil ginger saw her staring and smirked before disappearing into the back. Rey wanted to choke him.

“White mocha with hazelnut and caramel.” Rey whipped around to stare at Kylo who was looking studiously out the front window. “Frappuccino,” he continued in a low hum, “she likes the caramel drizzled down the sides of the cup. And extra whipped cream.” Rey stared at him in shock before her muscles jumped ahead of her brain.

As Phasma was getting the old woman to her feet and ready to head back outside Rey slid out from behind the counter and cleared her throat politely. Phasma turned and blinked at her in surprise when Rey presented her with the sweet drink, straw already in place. Phasma gave her a smile bright enough to melt the polar ice caps before disappearing out the door with a quiet “thanks”.

**4. Rey’s first trip to a park**

Rey leaned her head against the window of Phasma’s car and sighed deeply. “Was the blindfold necessary?”

“Yes.”

“And the coins?”

“They keep you from cheating.”

“They’re heavy.”

“Anything pressed against eyelids feels heavy.”

“Where are we going anyway?”

“You’ll see.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“But it’s the one you’re getting. It’s a surprise.”

“We’ve been driving for hours. What could you possibly want to show me?”

“It’s barely been twenty minutes. Now patience, we’re almost there.”

Rey sighed again and leaned back in the seat as far as she could. She felt the car take a wide turn and decelerate. There was a pause and voices then they continued forward before Rey felt the familiar curve of Phasma parking. The car turned off and Phasma opened her door and stepped out. Rey was left alone, listening to the ping of the metal cooling, as Phasma walked around to open Rey’s door for her.

The parking lot was made of gravel. Rey stumbled a little as the gravel changed to grass. They walked for a few minutes before Phasma tugged her to a stop. Rey could here Phasma messing with something off to her right and could only squirm while she waited for the blindfold to come off.

“Ready?” Phasma whispered in Rey’s ear making her shiver.

“Sure. What am I going to see?” Phasma didn’t answer but the cloth over her eyes loosened. The quarters that had been place on her eyelids slid off and Rey made an attempt to catch them but missed. The sun wasn’t bright today, the smattering of clouds kept is mostly at bay, so it didn’t take long for Rey’s eyes to adjust to the light.

She blinked at her surroundings in awe, mouth falling open. Phasma had lead them to a wide patch of thick green grass with a pond barely fifteen feet away. There were trees surrounding three sides of the water with a wooden walkway twisting in between the trunks. She turned her head slightly and saw rows and rows of flower beds carefully maintained along the sides of the grass creating a subtle terrace about twenty feet long on either sides of the open area that sloped down gently from a gravel parking area.

Rey finally turned to her right to see that Phasma had laid out a cliche checkered blanket and had an old fashioned wicker basket that looked suspiciously similar to the one normally used to hold disemboweled teddy bears in Kylo and Hux’s front hallway stuffed full of food and drinks. Phasma waited beside it wearing a white dress with blue polka dots and a wide smile. “Happy anniversary.”

**5\. The scent of oil**

Phasma liked her apartment to smell a certain way. Lavender and vanilla predominant with a hint of recently baked sweets. Hux called it cliche once. Only. Once. She stretched out on her couch and breathed deeply, letting her muscles relax after a long day. Her eyes slipped closed and she enjoyed just being at peace for a little while.

The smell of oil brought her mind from the far corners of almost sleep and she smiled. “Hi, sweety.” She called just as she heard the door closing. Footsteps along the floorboards brought the smell of cars and garages closer and Phasma held her arms up in silent invitation. Rey sighed before crawling onto the couch and laying down on top of Phasma.

Phasma liked her apartment to smell a certain way. But when it came to Rey she would always make an exception.


End file.
